Olivier Giroud’s Brings in Arsenal’s Third Trophy in Past Year


Well, here’s a bit of Olivier Giroud news you didn’t see coming (or maybe you did, I don’t know what you’re into).

With Valentine’s day coming up, Paddy Power had a bit of fun and polled 250 American women who also happened to be football fans (where they found 250 of those, I have no idea) and found out that, while Arsenal face a near impossible uphill battle to fight for the title, they do have the honor of possessing the most handsome player in the English Premier League.

Olivier Giroud, one of the hottest players on the pitch (stat-wise, that is, he’s playing great football), is also the hottest player on the pitch (now I’m talking about looks). It’s an honor that I didn’t see coming and that I didn’t even know existed, but given Giroud’s hairstyle, he did, and he’s been gunning for the sought after trophy all his life.

Giroud’s acceptance speech was on par with King George VI’s speech in 1939, as well as Colin Firth’s speech in 2010. In fact, if you polled those 250 American women, I think they’d probably say Giroud surpassed both George and Firth in overall performance and delivery, as well as looks.

What a suave gentleman.

While I’m no authority on football player’s attractiveness, I believe that a lot of the credit has to go to whoever does Olivier Giroud’s hair. If there were a poll for what the eighth wonder of the world should be, I think that Giroud’s hair would at least make it into the top ten.

While I’d like to say it would win, the Doo de Giroud (patent pending) faces stiff competition from multiple sources, including but not limited to:

  1. The Great Wall of China
  2. The Taj Mahal
  3. Machu Pichu
  4. Stonehenge
  5. Andre the Giant

However, if you polled the same 250 American women, I think Giroud would be the front runner (we American’s are a fickle people).

In case you wanted to know how Arsenal did as a team, they finished 3rd, which qualifies them to compete in the UEFPAA (Union of European Football Players Attractiveness Associations) Champions Cup, but also leaves us well short of yet another league title, as Burnley’s dashing gentlemen appear to be more clean shaven and better groomed than ours. Here’s the complete table:

Good thing we didn’t sign Cheick Tiote or Moussa Sissoko. It would have clobbered our ranking.

Olivier Giroud’s trophy is Arsenal’s third trophy in the past year, continuing Arsene Wenger’s streak of trophy collection. We’ve waited eight years for Arsenal to be relevant silverware threats again, and as they say, ‘once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, but thrice is for real.”

Well, thanks to Olivier Giroud, we are for real.

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