Arsenal: Nothing makes sense and everybody is wrong

Arsenal’s transfer window thus far has just been f***ing weird. Nothing is making any sense and so many things seem to be going wrong. What’s going on?

Welcome to Arsenal, a football club most times, a circus most other times. We’re so glad you could join us for this tour of “what the hell is going on at this club?” and we can’t wait to show you exactly how much confusion there is around the locker room as the club arrives in America for their preseason tour.

If you look on the right, you will se the most dedicated servant to the club, Laurent Koscielny, faithfully standing by, ready to lead his team into the next era, putting his own needs aside for the good of the club that built him.

Oh wait, that’s actually not what happened.

But if you look to your left, you will still see Wilfried Zaha, still exceeding the club’s transfer budget by over twice what we were allotted, yet still standing strong as the only player who has been consistently linked to the club all year long.

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Pretty fun right, constantly being linked to a player that even the most optimistic fan understands will never land at the Emirates? Good times.

Moving on, you can see Hakim Ziyech, the ideal solution to everything the Gunners need. A pure goal scorer with a penchant for individualism, Ziyech is hitting his prime years, was one of the top goal scorers in all of Europa last year and he really stood out as someone who could change a game at the drop of a dime, and he does it all from the wings.

But don’t mind him, his £35m price tag is apparently rather unattractive to the Gunners, who are only interested in wingers who cost £80m+, because that makes total sense.

Tours not over folks, get back over here.

You will see, over here, a slew of youth promotions, great players, all of them, supreme potential. Reiss Nelson and Emile Smith Rowe headline, but Joe Willock and Eddie Nketiah aren’t far behind. And for a club that values youth, it’s wonderful to see. But way over there is Xavier Amaechi, another incredibly talented young winger and he’s… well, we don’t like to talk about him.

So much to see here at Arsenal, so much to see. So many people (who to trust…?) saying things too! And it’s only July!