Arsenal: There’s only one idea worse than Chris Smalling transfer

The stupid transfer rumors are in freeflow now and Arsenal finally have an idea worse than Chris Smalling, and it’s a doozy.

Damn. What a week. After starting the week by praising how Arsenal seemed to be weeding out the stupid transfer rumors, we got hit by about a handful this week, and they’re still coming. From Jonjoe Kenny to Ryan Fraser (who I am revising my opinion of), we are being linked to all kinds of people we just don’t need.

No matter who it was, though, no one could take the stupid cake from Chris Smalling. 30-years-old, cast out of the Premier League. £25m. It was asinine. The only thing that made sense was his position, but given how much he was going to cost, the number of options better than him were numerous and seemingly unending.

I would have bet that Smalling would have taken the stupid rumor award of the season. There’s always one. But I was wrong. There is actually a worse idea out there than Smalling. And it’s his former teammate Jesse Lingard.

Thankfully, I wasn’t the first one to get to this rumor. So many fans were griping about Lingard that I actually heard about it first from all the people lashing out against it. Which fills me with warmth. But let me still do my civic duty and rip this apart.

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Jesse Lingard sucks. I mean sucks. Not only does he suck but he’s intolerable. He’s a 27-year-old who acts like every day is his 13th birthday. I don’t even care if I’m being harsh, because there is no one I like less in the Premier League than Jesse Lingard.

I could deal with it if he produced. Maybe he’s one of those “you hate to play against him because he gets under your skin” kind of people that you love to have on your side.

Nope. That’s not it either.

The guy had one decent year. Just one. The 2017/18 season. That’s it. He’s never scored double-digit goals. Never had double-digit assists. You couldn’t pay me to take Lingard at the Emirates. And this is with the knowledge of how much we need money. Thankfully, Stan Kroenke would probably say the same, limited football knowledge and all.

I hope this is the last I’ll ever have to say about it. But if not, I will always be here to revisit why this is the dumbest thing humanly imaginable.