Arsenal: Predicting What Mikel Arteta Gets for Christmas

Will Mikel Arteta get back on the Arsenal Nice List this Christmas?

Despite Christmas only starting for most of us, Arsenal have been feeling the festive spirit for a number of weeks already, gifting three points to our Premier League rivals since the beginning of November.

*ba dum tss*

Recent results mean Mikel Arteta will be on many Gunners fans’ naughty list this December but, after winning the FA Cup in August, he can still expect to find some presents under the tree.

Gift 1- Courage

While Dorothy only suspected that she was not in Kansas anymore, Arsenal fans will be painfully aware that nearly four years have passed since our last Champions League outing and, at the moment, it looks like we will be waiting a little longer.

The lack of courage in taking the game to the opposition has been a major issue this season for the club and, as we approach the January transfer window, it is imperative that Arteta brings in a creative midfielder to enable us to dictate games more.

Considering the absence of a certain German playmaker this campaign, it is unlikely that the boss will be turning to the Wizard of Oz for inspiration in the new year, so let’s hope that our business next month helps us to turn a corner. We might need a few hearts and a brain while we are at it…

Gift 2- FIFA 21

Arteta has been showered with praise by his players over the last year, with Kieran Tierney and Bernd Leno the latest to laud our ‘great manager’ and insist that he is ‘least to blame’ for our current predicament.

Although they probably mean well, Arsenal’s worst start to a top-flight season in almost 50 years suggests that the manager’s wise words are not resonating with the squad.

Therefore, I’m sure he would appreciate a copy of FIFA 21 as at least then he could really control his players, although I still cannot imagine Willian having a good game…

Gift 3- A Pair of Socks

In keeping with these unprecedented times, Arsenal’s league performances of late have also been like nothing we have ever seen before.

From injuries, suspensions, own goals, our first home defeat to [X team] in [X years], redundancies, Gunnersaurus, changes upstairs, the dismantling of our scouting system and Covid-19, Arteta could really do with a return to boring, mundane normality.

For one year only, the customary offering of a pair of socks would go down a treat!

With our winless league run now at seven games and the impending danger of a relegation battle drawing ever closer, Arteta really needs a Christmas miracle, and three points on Saturday would certainly do the trick!

Merry Christmas everybody, here’s to 2021!