Pain in the Arsenal
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Arsenal: 3 players who deserve coal for Christmas

By Ross Kennerley

Arsenal's Spanish manager Mikel Arteta (L) hugs Arsenal's Gabonese striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang as he leaves the field during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Aston Villa at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 22, 2021. - - RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. (Photo by Glyn KIRK / AFP) / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. (Photo by GLYN KIRK/AFP via Getty Images)
Arsenal's Spanish manager Mikel Arteta (L) hugs Arsenal's Gabonese striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang as he leaves the field during the English Premier League football match between Arsenal and Aston Villa at the Emirates Stadium in London on October 22, 2021. - - RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. (Photo by Glyn KIRK / AFP) / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No video emulation. Social media in-match use limited to 120 images. An additional 40 images may be used in extra time. No use in betting publications, games or single club/league/player publications. (Photo by GLYN KIRK/AFP via Getty Images) /
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Arsenal, Auba
Arsenal: 3 players who deserve coal for Christmas. (Photo by GLYN KIRK/AFP via Getty Images) /

Merry Christmas to one and all. For the first time in five years Arsenal get to celebrate being in the top four on the 25th of December. Five long, arduous years.

Brushing over the table and there being a collection of teams below Mikel Arteta’s side who’ve played fewer matches, it’s time to celebrate instead.

Last year the festive period came around at exactly the right time. Arsenal had gone seven matches without winning and the everlasting agony that was this football club meant a day away from anything to do with them was welcomed with open arms.

And then they won on Boxing Day!

Arsenal: 3 players who deserve coal for Christmas

It’s contrasting emotions this time with the Gunners having won three on the bounce in the league and booking their place in the semi-finals of the Carabao Cup, which hopefully means that these two years aren’t working in parallel and a miserable defeat against Norwich is on the cards.

Please, Santa, no.

And speaking of presents, us normal folk won’t be the only ones cracking a smile as a relative we’re not overly familiar with gifts us one of those Axe shower gel and deodorant combo packs on the presumption that we smell. Oh no. Those ones we dedicate so much of our lives to will be opening their own gifts.

But not all of them. It’s presents for most, and rotten coal for others.

While we wish a merry Christmas to all the delightful footballers we support with all our hearts, some of them don’t deserve a new PlayStation or tickets to the Lion King on the West End.

They deserve coal.

Arsenal, Auba
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 22: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang of Arsenal during the Premier League match between Arsenal and Aston Villa at Emirates Stadium on October 22, 2021 in London, England. (Photo by Marc Atkins/Getty Images) /

1. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

Kicking off with the plainly obvious, there will be stockings stuffed to the brim for the 32-year-old striker.

Stockings full of coal.

Supposed to be the leader of his side who acts as an example to all the others (remember Auba mate, we’re the youngest squad in the division) he instead did the total opposite. Like a cat running out of lives, enough was enough for Arteta and Arsenal and the captain was stripped of his armband.

It’s a real shame, too. An incredibly likeable person who is always smiley and jubilant, sadly the rules are the rules and if there is anyone who should be abiding by them, it’s him.

So, sorry Pierre, no Christmas presents for you.

Continued on next page…

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