5. Gabriel Barbosa (Flamengo)
If for no reason other than his first name.
Gabriel Barbosa has already tried (and failed) to establish himself in European football, having played for Benfica and Inter Milan from 2016-2018. However, those stints stood him in good stead and, with the Brazilian domestic season now over until next April, he represents a viable, cheap and short-term solution to our problems.
‘Gabigol’ was perhaps doomed to flop previously as he barely ever featured in Portugal or Italy and had to acclimatise at such a young age, with the now 27-year-old rediscovering his form since joining Flamengo in 2020 (141 goals in 253 matches).
A remarkable tally only reveals a fraction of his skillset, as Barbosa pops up all over the pitch and boasts the trickery and ball-carrying ability to terrorise defenders, alongside his tendency to drop into midfield to link play.
Once again, it is a left-field choice that primarily appeals due to its feasibility (£20m fee). But with Victor Osimhen and Kylian Mbappé not quite in contention for January moves, this is the type of deal we might have to do.