4 gifts Arsenal need from Santa Claus this Christmas

2. A Paper Shredder

Working tirelessly with the club to construct a squad full of young players, Arteta still has work to do to trim the fat of this group even with the extensive work already undertaken.

Still with players to shift, some are proving more troublesome to move than others. Take Sead Kolasinac, for example, who is believe it or not still an Arsenal player despite valiant efforts to have his contract cancelled or to entice a buyer.

Between now and his deal expiring he will earn £2.7m in wages.

Then there is Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. So much drama has engulfed this football club over the years and there was no signs of that dying down when the 32-year-old was stripped of the captaincy and then ostracised from the rest of the group.

It’s kind of a big deal too, since he’s the top earner on an eye-watering £350k-per-week.

Moving Kolasinac on has been painfully tough, and Aubameyang will follow suit, so the best the manager can hope for is, obviously, a lovely new paper shredder.

Can’t find buyers or agree on a payout? When they’re out in training, get that contract out, and shred it. Bye. When Kolasinac starts asking for 90%, Arteta can just reply ‘what contract?’.

Devious, immoral and cunning.

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