Uh, oh. There's talk of Marcus Rashford and Arsenal again. Something must be going wrong.
This time last year, we were approaching peak discourse surrounding the Gunners' need for a striker. Arsenal had evolved into a sterner, more functional unit throughout the first-half of 2023/24, but profligate performances over the festive period sparked crisis talks among the fanbase.
The club's title hopes were all but dashed after back-to-back defeats to Fulham and West Ham, but many thought the acquisition of a marquee centre-forward would prove to be a season-salvaging antidote.
They were wrong.
There was necessary evolution up top, but Mikel Arteta's grand solution was an internal one. Kai Havertz developed into Arsenal's regular goal-getter from a marauding #9 function, performing at a level which allowed some online supporters to draw blasphemous comparisons to Roberto Firmino. The German was excellent down the stretch last season, but questions over his long-term viability have risen to the surface once more.
Arsenal's attack has shown signs of regression this season, and perhaps more concerning than Havertz's form is the inability of any left-sided option to nail down a starting place.
That's where Rashford comes into this tale.
Is Marcus Rashford the attacking spark Arsenal need?
Both Gabriel Martinelli and Leandro Trossard have underperformed, while Raheem Sterling's north London holiday so far hasn't involved much football. Martinelli is Arteta's preferred option down the left, but he's a player who seemingly needs perfection around him to succeed.
We're now watching 39-year-old full-backs lock him up without much fuss. The live wire from 2022/23 who had the world at his feet can only be regarded as a distant memory. An ideal from a halcyon era. Martinelli once typified the novel excellence of Arteta's Arsenal, but now he exemplifies their stodgy functionality and the stagnation they're quickly threatening.
Less is expected of Trossard, but he, too, struggles to impact proceedings when included in the starting XI. The Belgian has been a brilliant signing, but contributions have been scarce this season. He's scored or assisted in just three league outings this term.
We may need superior 'platformers' for Martinelli, but Arsenal, in phase 190 of Arteta's project, require another game-breaker. For example, what Leroy Sane did to the Gunners at the Emirates in March depicted his ability to break a game wide open through individual magic. Arsenal have an inevitable force down the right in Bukayo Saka, but their remaining forward options leave plenty to be desired.
Is Rashford what they need?
Plenty of talk surrounding the winger's future in Manchester will emerge after he was omitted from Ruben Amorim's squad for Sunday's Manchester Derby. Rashford, who scored the first goal of the Amorm era, is not a natural fit in the new manager's 3-4-2-1, and United's success at the Etihad will only embolden the Portuguese coach. His project at Old Trafford may not require the Englishman.
Rashford is a superstar at his apex and Arteta knows that all too well. The United forward has scored a pair of stunning goals from distance at the Emirates in United defeats, with such an attribute coming in handy when tasked with breaking down a deep-lying defence. He's a talent capable of producing the 'moments' Arsenal are seemingly bereft of in open-play right now, especially when teams are wisely making concerted efforts to slow down Saka. When purring, Rashford is ruthlessly emphatic.
Perhaps Rashford will come available next year, potentially as early as January, but the move would appear almost impossible to pull off. The winger is United's second highest-paid player earning a reported £300,000 a week, so Arteta would have to be utterly convinced by the player for the club to pursue. The winger is no utopian character, and his work without the ball would surely have the Spaniard in fits.
But maybe that's what Arteta requires. A relaxation of the stringent ideals in favour of a star. Martinelli is dogged without the ball, but does his off-the-ball running make up for his sub-par decision-making and infuriating inefficiency with it?
Either way, a move for Rashford seems unlikely and I certainly won't be suckered into any paper talk. Arsenal require attacking rejuvenation, but that spark is unlikely to arrive via Manchester.